I'm interested in writing again. For a few weeks I was pretty overwhelmed. What will people think when they read this? How stupid will I look when it all comes out that I don't know what I'm doing etc? My solution was denial. I have strong tendencies to forget about patriarchy and its influence in my life. Looking back on this brief cycle of excitement-fear-shame-apathy, it seems so clear how much societal pressure there is to keep our feelings and ideas to ourselves.
To reference Terrence Real for something like the tenth time, somewhere in his book How Can I Get Through To You he makes the case that it is not permissible to tell the truth about men. I think this is true. I've felt my own instincts to silence myself and others. I should probably buy that book.
I went to a consciousness raising group for feminist men last night. It was a real relief to talk about some of this stuff with other folks. Good to be reminded that there are other men interested in getting to the bottom of this stuff.
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