Thursday, September 25, 2008

dudes and sex

This is another quote I can relate to regarding sexuality. Steve Bearman writes in his essay Why Men Are So Obsessed With Sex:

Directly and indirectly, we are handed sexuality as the one vehicle through which it might still be possible to express and experience essential aspects of our humanness that have been slowly and systematically conditioned out of us. Sex was, and is, presented as the road to real intimacy, complete closeness, as the arena in which it is okay to openly love, to be tender and vulnerable and yet remain safe, to not feel so deeply alone. Sex is the one place sensuality seems to be permissible, where we can be gentle with our own bodies and allow ourselves our overflowing passion. This is why men are so obsessed with sex... But in no way can sex completely fulfill these needs. Such needs can only be fulfilled by healing from the effects of male conditioning and suffusing every area of our lives with relatedness and aliveness.

I like the idea of more aliveness in my life. I struggle with a feeling that there is a right way to do sexuality. It's getting easier to say that's bullshit and I can do it however I want.

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